Looking after HIV

FIND OUT WHAT OUR COUPLES HAVE TO SAY

Peter and Harry

Peter and Harry

Read More
Joseph and Adam

Joseph and Adam

Read More
Anton and Richard

Anton and Richard

Read More
Nick and Brian

Nick and Brian

Read More
Caring for each other is an important part of being in a relationship and that extends to important health issues such as HIV. It’s common for HIV negative partners to want to read up about the virus and understand what’s involved in its management. It’s also common for partners to discuss blood test results, even if everything is normal. For most people with HIV, test results are psychologically and emotionally significant and discussing them together may be an important way of looking after each other.

If you want to explore the medical side of HIV care and treatment HIV Tests and Treatments provides detailed and up to date information.

If you have further questions, consider attending an HIV doctor’s appointment together. HIV doctors are usually happy to see couples and answer questions from both of you. Ask the receptionist when you make the appointment whether it’s worth booking a long consultation, so you don’t feel rushed and write a list of questions beforehand.

Managing HIV – what’s involved?

HIV treatments have come a long way in the past 20 years and are now more effective and safer than ever. Most people with HIV who take modern treatments experience very few and only minor side effects and the vast majority (around 90%) will achieve an undetectable viral load. This means that no active virus can be detected in a blood test and there will be no progression of the disease. In fact, people with HIV who take their medication routinely, as prescribed, and maintain an undetectable viral load are expected to have a normal life expectancy.

But because HIV cannot currently be cured, managing it is a lifelong journey. Fortunately, the management of HIV doesn’t need to be especially complicated or demanding. However, it does require ongoing attention.

It is also now recommended that all people with HIV take treatment, irrespective of how long they have been infected or how healthy their immune system remains. This is because HIV can cause damage even in very healthy people. And because treatments are relatively safe and easy to take, there’s no longer a downside to starting as soon as possible.

For people who are stable on treatment it is recommended they visit their HIV doctor three or four times a year for blood tests and new scripts. For most people, the daily routine of taking pills is the most important challenge they face. Many people have trouble remembering to take pills, on time, all of the time. But because of the way HIV works, it is especially important to get this right with HIV treatments. Missed doses can lead to the development of resistance which then may necessitate a change of treatments. Tips about remembering doses can be found in the adherence section of HIV Tests and Treatments.

Some couples find treatment adherence is something they can work on together by sharing a routine and reminding one another. For example, if the HIV negative partner takes regular medication or vitamins, is it possible to synchronise your doses? Perhaps aligning with an activity you do together everyday, like eating a meal together. Even if the HIV negative partner doesn’t take regular medications, aligning HIV medications with a daily routine can often be enough of a memory trigger for both of you.

  • Peter and Harry

    Peter and Harry

    Harry helps to remind Peter about taking his medication.

    Peter: I set an alarm to remind me about pills. But sometimes I don’t hear it so Harry will say “Your alarm’s going off.” Or if I turn it off without taking the pill he might follow up later.
    Harry: We aren’t really into discussing my blood results.

    Harry: Initially he told me his result, a number, which I wouldn’t understand. I do trust that if there is anything I really need to know, Peter would tell me. The fact I know that he’s taking his medication every day means I don’t have any reason to be overly concerned with getting the numbers.

  • Joseph and Adam

    Joseph and Adam

    Adam is interested in Joseph’s care and treatment for prevention as well as health reasons.

    Adam: I think nowadays you make the assumption that people with HIV are looking after themselves, are taking their meds and are undetectable.

    Joseph: I remember when we first got together you were very serious about making sure that you knew what the results were. You have relaxed over time, but I was flattered that you were thinking of me at the doctor.

    Adam: We rely on Joseph’s undetectable status to prevent transmission, so I feel like I want to be informed about that. It’s important to me to know he is taking his medication every day.

  • Anton and Richard

    Anton and Richard

    Anton and Richard attended a doctor’s appointment together.

    Richard: When I found out that Anton was HIV positive, it made me curious and I did some research. Then we went to Anton’s doctor together; that was helpful.

    Anton: We also had questions about PrEP, so we covered quite a few issues.

  • Nick and Brian

    Nick and Brian

    Brian and Nick are not very interested in the technical medical aspects of HIV but support each other to be healthy, including remembering HIV medication.

    Nick: When Brian goes to the doctor I’ll ask about it, He will tell me his T cell count and viral load.
    I just come home and say, “Hi Honey. How was your day? And how was your doctor’s visit? How did it go?” We just make it part of general conversation, don’t we?

    Brian: Yes. It’s just part of life together. Nick will often check I’ve had my pills. Especially if we don’t eat dinner together he might ask about my dinner plans and whether I’ve had my pills.”